Trying to cover-up and bury deep-seeded pain from his childhood, Joe Kissack tried to fill the void in his heart by gaining fortune and power in the high-pressure world of syndicated television. Deep down, he knew that the crazy travel schedule and the overwhelming hours at work were breaking him down. He subconciously tried to stay one step in front of the inevitable collapse of his life.
Thousands of miles away, in a small Mexican village, 5 Mexican fisherman set out on a fishing trip, not for fun, but to put food on the table. In what began as a routine fishing trip, it took a turn for the worst as the fisherman encountered a deadly storm and found themselves drifting along in the unending ocean with only a beat-up, old, dusty Bible and the clothes on their backs.
This book is the true story of how a high-powered television executive from the United States and three Mexican fisherman found the ends of themselves and the beginning of God's magnficent grace. Interwoven from Chapter to Chapter, the two stories run side by side until the television executive, with a quiet request from God, flies to Mexico to find the surviving fisherman and tell their story. What results is four changed lives and another example of the universal human need for God's grace and redemption.
I have to admit up-front that true life stories of overcoming life's obstacles are what I most enjoy reading. This book did not disappoint. From the moment I first picked it up, I found it difficult to put down and found myself playing the stories through my head in the days between starting and finishing the book. It really is a book where we, as the readers, are invited into the story and become part of it, as it unfolds. I highly recommend this book to anyone who doubts if God is still at work in the lives of people today.
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher, Waterbrook Multnomah, to write a review. I was under no obligation to write a positive review, however.
*You can find a link to a portion of this book at: http://www.scribd.com/WaterBrook/search?query=The+Fourth+Fisherman
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Don't Feed the Negative
There are two wolves inside each of us fighting for position. Which one will you choose to feed?
You might remember, if you have seen my last blog post, that my brother Lee and I are working on writing a tribute to my grandfather for his upcoming 80th birthday. The project has actually been pretty easy on our part because Grandpa is a very reflective man and has jotted down a lot of notes and thoughts as he has come across them. Recently, while going through his notes, I came across a little parable that really caught me dead in my tracks. It was one of those 'Ah Hah' moments and gave me a little knowledge as to why my path took a couple wrong turns years ago. This is the parable:
My natural tendancy is toward the negative. I wish that weren't the case, but it is. Without keeping a close eye on myself, through prayer and reflection, I will form deep, ingrained habits of thinking negatively.
About 10-12 years ago, maybe earlier, I walked away from prayer and reflection and let my thoughts go wherever they decided to go. What happened is that, unaccountable, my mind developed deep, solid, ingrained habits of negative, self-defeating, false thoughts.
As I've tried to turn this around, it's been a huge challenge. I try to conciously stop the negative thoughts and turn them into positive, rational, truthful thoughts. After about 5 years of this, my thoughts are slowly changing into the positive realm. But, those negative patterns of thinking do come back regularly and attack when I am weakest (tired, bored, or stressed out).
Physiologically, I think our thought patterns work like water flowing down a river. Water always takes the path of least resistance. If we build deep, ingrained negative thought patterns, our thoughts will quickly and easily take that route time and time again. My goal is to build up a bank against that negative pathway of thoughts, and begin digging a deep, ingrained pathway of positive, rational thoughts. Obviously, in my opinion, this is a futile goal without regularly feeding myself on and building up my faith and trust in God.
So, which wolf are you feeding. Do you concentrate on the positive, truth, God-fearing thoughts, or do you sometimes become lazy and let your mind take off on the negative route? Which route is your natural tendancy?
You might remember, if you have seen my last blog post, that my brother Lee and I are working on writing a tribute to my grandfather for his upcoming 80th birthday. The project has actually been pretty easy on our part because Grandpa is a very reflective man and has jotted down a lot of notes and thoughts as he has come across them. Recently, while going through his notes, I came across a little parable that really caught me dead in my tracks. It was one of those 'Ah Hah' moments and gave me a little knowledge as to why my path took a couple wrong turns years ago. This is the parable:
An elderly Cherokee
indian was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, “A fight is
going on inside me. It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is
evil: he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity,
guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority,
and ego. The other is good: he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth,
compassion, and faith. The fight is going on inside you and every other person
too.” They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his
grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one
you feed.”
My natural tendancy is toward the negative. I wish that weren't the case, but it is. Without keeping a close eye on myself, through prayer and reflection, I will form deep, ingrained habits of thinking negatively.
About 10-12 years ago, maybe earlier, I walked away from prayer and reflection and let my thoughts go wherever they decided to go. What happened is that, unaccountable, my mind developed deep, solid, ingrained habits of negative, self-defeating, false thoughts.
As I've tried to turn this around, it's been a huge challenge. I try to conciously stop the negative thoughts and turn them into positive, rational, truthful thoughts. After about 5 years of this, my thoughts are slowly changing into the positive realm. But, those negative patterns of thinking do come back regularly and attack when I am weakest (tired, bored, or stressed out).
Physiologically, I think our thought patterns work like water flowing down a river. Water always takes the path of least resistance. If we build deep, ingrained negative thought patterns, our thoughts will quickly and easily take that route time and time again. My goal is to build up a bank against that negative pathway of thoughts, and begin digging a deep, ingrained pathway of positive, rational thoughts. Obviously, in my opinion, this is a futile goal without regularly feeding myself on and building up my faith and trust in God.
So, which wolf are you feeding. Do you concentrate on the positive, truth, God-fearing thoughts, or do you sometimes become lazy and let your mind take off on the negative route? Which route is your natural tendancy?
Thursday, August 2, 2012
An Uncommon Man
I had originally started this blog to begin promoting a memoir that I plan to write about a turbulent few years in my life. My writing journey has taken a different direction for now, however and I am thrilled with the project at my fingertips.
My grandfather is turning 80 years old this October. My brother, Lee and I decided to approach him about sharing some of his life stories and wisdom with us so we can gather it all together into a biography and share it with future generations to come. We conducted our first interview on Sunday morning and I think we are onto something great.
Grandpa has made a habit throughout his life of memorizing certain poems, excerpts from books or any other writing that really resonates with him. He recited the following poem word for word perfect while we talked to him and I thought I would share it here. It has really resonated with me as well. I hope you enjoy it.
The Uncommon Man (by Dean Alfange, born December 2nd, 1899)
I Do Not Choose To Be A Common Man
It is my right to be uncommon—if I can.
I seek opportunity—not security. I do not wish to be a kept citizen, humbled and dulled by having the state look after me.
I want to take the calculated risk; to dream and to build, to fail and to succeed.
I refuse to barter incentive for a dole. I prefer the challenges of life to the guaranteed existence; the thrill of fulfillment to the stale calm of utopia.
I will not trade freedom for beneficence nor my dignity for a handout. I will never cower before any master nor bend to any threat.
It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid; to think and act for myself, enjoy the benefit of my creations and to face the world boldly and say, “This I have done.”
These are strong words and to be honest, I do not believe them to be true in my own life. Maybe, however, if you keep working on it, keep saying it over and over again, you begin to believe it and the evidence of it begins to come out in your own life. We really do become what we habitually think about.
How about you?
Do you believe the saying that we become what we think about? Has that come true in your own life?
My grandfather is turning 80 years old this October. My brother, Lee and I decided to approach him about sharing some of his life stories and wisdom with us so we can gather it all together into a biography and share it with future generations to come. We conducted our first interview on Sunday morning and I think we are onto something great.
Grandpa has made a habit throughout his life of memorizing certain poems, excerpts from books or any other writing that really resonates with him. He recited the following poem word for word perfect while we talked to him and I thought I would share it here. It has really resonated with me as well. I hope you enjoy it.
The Uncommon Man (by Dean Alfange, born December 2nd, 1899)
I Do Not Choose To Be A Common Man
It is my right to be uncommon—if I can.
I seek opportunity—not security. I do not wish to be a kept citizen, humbled and dulled by having the state look after me.
I want to take the calculated risk; to dream and to build, to fail and to succeed.
I refuse to barter incentive for a dole. I prefer the challenges of life to the guaranteed existence; the thrill of fulfillment to the stale calm of utopia.
I will not trade freedom for beneficence nor my dignity for a handout. I will never cower before any master nor bend to any threat.
It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid; to think and act for myself, enjoy the benefit of my creations and to face the world boldly and say, “This I have done.”
These are strong words and to be honest, I do not believe them to be true in my own life. Maybe, however, if you keep working on it, keep saying it over and over again, you begin to believe it and the evidence of it begins to come out in your own life. We really do become what we habitually think about.
How about you?
Do you believe the saying that we become what we think about? Has that come true in your own life?
Monday, July 16, 2012
Breaking Bad Habits (Part 4): The Secret Weapon
So, what's that ONE THING that makes all the difference? What's the silver bullet? What's that secret weapon that finally helps us overcome those bad habits that plague us for years? First, I'll give you a few hints. It's not a magic pill. It's not a book. It's not a particular program. Some books and programs can really give you an edge, but they usually only work if you employ this secret weapon first.
During the second half of my first year of college, I quit working out and began living on junk food to relieve the stress and boredom that can come with college life. I gained a significant amount of weight and began to feel miserable. After about a year and a half, and 60 pounds later, I finally realized that I had a problem that I needed to deal with. I bought a bunch of books, did a ton of research and learned everything I could about weight loss, exercise and healthy eating. EVERY SINGLE WEEK FOR A FULL YEAR, I made a detailed plan of healthy eating and exercise and set a weight loss goal. Every week, I decided that I was going to start the following Monday. Monday would roll around, I would start my program, mess up on Tuesday or Wednesday, and throw away the plan and draw up a new one.
"Surely, the problem was in my plan," I figured.
One weekend, out of desperation, I said a simple prayer, "God, you have to help me. I can't do this on my own. I've tried everything and I'm out of options."
The following Monday, I began my program like usual but something happened this time. Somehow, for some reason, I rolled through the mistakes of Tuesday and Wednesday and just kept going. In fact, I rolled through the mistakes of every day for the next 15 weeks, and lost about 60 pounds. Why was this time different?
As I look back and see the few times that I've had success in overcoming any negative habit or situation in my life, it's always begun with SURRENDER. In every situation, I've fought the habit over and over again by myself with little success. Finally, when I was completely exhausted and feeling hopeless, I surrendered the situation to God. Once I sincerely surrendered, I had the power to overcome.
I've come to realize that the problem we face in trying to overcome bad habits is a LACK OF POWER. If you have followed Part 1: Why do we Fail? and Part 2: Where's the POWER in My Willpower of the Breaking Bad Habits series of posts, you've seen that it's not easy. Once those habits are in place, we've got a battle on our hands. Unfortunately, in my experience, we lack the POWER to overcome them. Therefore, my new definition for Willpower is: The Willingness to Accept God's Power. I believe that the secret weapon in overcoming bad habits is SURRENDER.
What About You?
Have you ever fought a bad habit on your own with little success? Do you have any other Tips for overcoming bad habits? If so, please share them in the Comments of this post.
**If you have enjoyed this post, or this blog in general, please feel free to SHARE IT using the small icons at the bottom of this post including FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and GOOGLE +.
During the second half of my first year of college, I quit working out and began living on junk food to relieve the stress and boredom that can come with college life. I gained a significant amount of weight and began to feel miserable. After about a year and a half, and 60 pounds later, I finally realized that I had a problem that I needed to deal with. I bought a bunch of books, did a ton of research and learned everything I could about weight loss, exercise and healthy eating. EVERY SINGLE WEEK FOR A FULL YEAR, I made a detailed plan of healthy eating and exercise and set a weight loss goal. Every week, I decided that I was going to start the following Monday. Monday would roll around, I would start my program, mess up on Tuesday or Wednesday, and throw away the plan and draw up a new one.
"Surely, the problem was in my plan," I figured.
One weekend, out of desperation, I said a simple prayer, "God, you have to help me. I can't do this on my own. I've tried everything and I'm out of options."
The following Monday, I began my program like usual but something happened this time. Somehow, for some reason, I rolled through the mistakes of Tuesday and Wednesday and just kept going. In fact, I rolled through the mistakes of every day for the next 15 weeks, and lost about 60 pounds. Why was this time different?
As I look back and see the few times that I've had success in overcoming any negative habit or situation in my life, it's always begun with SURRENDER. In every situation, I've fought the habit over and over again by myself with little success. Finally, when I was completely exhausted and feeling hopeless, I surrendered the situation to God. Once I sincerely surrendered, I had the power to overcome.
I've come to realize that the problem we face in trying to overcome bad habits is a LACK OF POWER. If you have followed Part 1: Why do we Fail? and Part 2: Where's the POWER in My Willpower of the Breaking Bad Habits series of posts, you've seen that it's not easy. Once those habits are in place, we've got a battle on our hands. Unfortunately, in my experience, we lack the POWER to overcome them. Therefore, my new definition for Willpower is: The Willingness to Accept God's Power. I believe that the secret weapon in overcoming bad habits is SURRENDER.
What About You?
Have you ever fought a bad habit on your own with little success? Do you have any other Tips for overcoming bad habits? If so, please share them in the Comments of this post.
**If you have enjoyed this post, or this blog in general, please feel free to SHARE IT using the small icons at the bottom of this post including FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and GOOGLE +.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Breaking Bad Habits (Part III) : 5 Tips for Breaking Bad Habits
Is Breaking Bad Habits even Possible?
If you have followed along on Part I and Part II of the Breaking Bad Habits post series, you probably aren't real encouraged so far.
Let's do a quick review:
- Once a bad habit is written in your brain, it is stored there forever. You will never completely eliminate that bad habit from your thinking.
- The biggest triggers for relapsing back into bad habits are too much stress and boredom. Unfortunately, we all feel over-stressed and bored sometimes.
- Your willpower is not going to help you too much in breaking bad habits. The more you try not to act out on a bad habit, the more likely you will. Trying not to do it keeps the habit at the forefront of your brain, which makes acting out on it more likely when stress and boredom come.
5 Tips that might help you break bad habits
1. Make the Decision
It sounds too simple, but if you aren't absolutely sure that you want to make this change in your life, then you won't do it. You must have a compelling reason. It may be your health, it may be for your kids. Only you can decide what is going to give you the fuel to keep going when the road gets tough. The secret is to use that willpower we discussed earlier to focus on what your life will look like once you make this change. Therefore, instead of focusing on trying not to fall into your bad habit, focus on how your life will be improved once you overcome the habit.
2. Throw perfection out the window
This is the one that has tripped me up over and over again every time I want to eliminate a bad habit. For some reason, after I decide to make a change in my life, I envision the process of change to be perfect. I picture myself making the transition from a bad habit to a good one and don't plan for the inevitable slip-up. Then, when I do mess up, I beat myself up for it, which makes me feel miserable, which leads me a large relapse in my negative behavior.
Even if you have a compelling reason to make the change in your life, if you expect to be perfect and never mess up, you are setting yourself up for failure. PLAN ON MESSING UP from time to time while getting rid of bad habits. Messing up is part of the learning process. When you mess up, don't beat yourself up for it. Now you know that it is going to happen and is part of the process. Dust yourself off, learn from your mistake, and get back on your journey.
3. One day at a time
When eliminating bad habits, it is very important to focus on the big picture. You must have a vision for what you are shooting for and keep the compelling reason for your change in the forefront of your mind.
Breaking the bad habit isn't going to occur, however, by continuously focusing on the future goal. Any positive change occurs as the result of making the right decisions over and over again, day after day. The change happens one day at a time.
In my experience, it works well to peak at the future goal and know what you are shooting for, but quickly come back to the present moment and decide what you are going to do this day to move you a little closer to that positive change.
THE PRESENT MOMENT is where the rubber meets the road and where progress is made.
4. Manage your Stress
I know this is a tough one. We live in a stress-filled society. It's all we know. If we are not stressed out, most of us find something to stress about because that is our normal state. There are things that we can do, however to manage the stress in our lives. I hope to discuss this topic further in a later post.
5. Replace bad habits with good ones.
When we stop acting out on a bad habit, it leaves a void in our lives. There is no way around it. If you spend 2 hours a day doing your bad habit, you now have 2 hours that you will need to fill up with something else.
In my experience, a bad habit cannot be broken without replacing it with a good one. If you want to maintain freedom from a bad habit for a long period of time, you will need to begin another habit to do instead.
Without replacing the bad habit with a good one, BOREDOM will creep into that time slot, and it will lead you right back to your bad habit.
What about You?
Does perfection creep in when you are trying to eliminate bad habits and lead you to failure? Can you add any other tips that you have found for breaking bad habits?
Parts of this post was based on a seminar sponsored by the Institute of Brain Potential called How the Brain Forms New Habits: Why Willpower is Not Enough: More information can be found at:
https://www.ibpceu.com/pdf/custom/HABNHMEMARIF11-4.pdf
***Please Note: If you enjoy my posts and would like to share them on Facebook or Twitter, all you have to do is click on the tiny social media icon at the bottom of each post. They are so small that I thought many people might not know that they are there.***
If you have followed along on Part I and Part II of the Breaking Bad Habits post series, you probably aren't real encouraged so far.
Let's do a quick review:
- Once a bad habit is written in your brain, it is stored there forever. You will never completely eliminate that bad habit from your thinking.
- The biggest triggers for relapsing back into bad habits are too much stress and boredom. Unfortunately, we all feel over-stressed and bored sometimes.
- Your willpower is not going to help you too much in breaking bad habits. The more you try not to act out on a bad habit, the more likely you will. Trying not to do it keeps the habit at the forefront of your brain, which makes acting out on it more likely when stress and boredom come.
5 Tips that might help you break bad habits
1. Make the Decision
It sounds too simple, but if you aren't absolutely sure that you want to make this change in your life, then you won't do it. You must have a compelling reason. It may be your health, it may be for your kids. Only you can decide what is going to give you the fuel to keep going when the road gets tough. The secret is to use that willpower we discussed earlier to focus on what your life will look like once you make this change. Therefore, instead of focusing on trying not to fall into your bad habit, focus on how your life will be improved once you overcome the habit.
2. Throw perfection out the window
This is the one that has tripped me up over and over again every time I want to eliminate a bad habit. For some reason, after I decide to make a change in my life, I envision the process of change to be perfect. I picture myself making the transition from a bad habit to a good one and don't plan for the inevitable slip-up. Then, when I do mess up, I beat myself up for it, which makes me feel miserable, which leads me a large relapse in my negative behavior.
Even if you have a compelling reason to make the change in your life, if you expect to be perfect and never mess up, you are setting yourself up for failure. PLAN ON MESSING UP from time to time while getting rid of bad habits. Messing up is part of the learning process. When you mess up, don't beat yourself up for it. Now you know that it is going to happen and is part of the process. Dust yourself off, learn from your mistake, and get back on your journey.
3. One day at a time
When eliminating bad habits, it is very important to focus on the big picture. You must have a vision for what you are shooting for and keep the compelling reason for your change in the forefront of your mind.
Breaking the bad habit isn't going to occur, however, by continuously focusing on the future goal. Any positive change occurs as the result of making the right decisions over and over again, day after day. The change happens one day at a time.
In my experience, it works well to peak at the future goal and know what you are shooting for, but quickly come back to the present moment and decide what you are going to do this day to move you a little closer to that positive change.
THE PRESENT MOMENT is where the rubber meets the road and where progress is made.
4. Manage your Stress
I know this is a tough one. We live in a stress-filled society. It's all we know. If we are not stressed out, most of us find something to stress about because that is our normal state. There are things that we can do, however to manage the stress in our lives. I hope to discuss this topic further in a later post.
5. Replace bad habits with good ones.
When we stop acting out on a bad habit, it leaves a void in our lives. There is no way around it. If you spend 2 hours a day doing your bad habit, you now have 2 hours that you will need to fill up with something else.
In my experience, a bad habit cannot be broken without replacing it with a good one. If you want to maintain freedom from a bad habit for a long period of time, you will need to begin another habit to do instead.
Without replacing the bad habit with a good one, BOREDOM will creep into that time slot, and it will lead you right back to your bad habit.
What about You?
Does perfection creep in when you are trying to eliminate bad habits and lead you to failure? Can you add any other tips that you have found for breaking bad habits?
Parts of this post was based on a seminar sponsored by the Institute of Brain Potential called How the Brain Forms New Habits: Why Willpower is Not Enough: More information can be found at:
https://www.ibpceu.com/pdf/custom/HABNHMEMARIF11-4.pdf
***Please Note: If you enjoy my posts and would like to share them on Facebook or Twitter, all you have to do is click on the tiny social media icon at the bottom of each post. They are so small that I thought many people might not know that they are there.***
Monday, July 2, 2012
Breaking Bad Habits (Part 2): Where's the POWER in My Willpower?
How strong is your willpower?
Let's start this post with a little test of your willpower. For the next 30 seconds, no matter what you do, don't think about an ELEPHANT. Okay start...
Why are you thinking about an elephant when I told you not to? It is only 30 seconds. Couldn't you go just 30 seconds? Since you did opposite of what I told you to do, does that mean that you have a weak willpower? Not really. It was not a fair test of true willpower.
When I told you not to think about an elephant, the first thing you did was picture an elephant in your conscious working brain. No matter how hard you try not to think about the elephant, you keep thinking about it. Actually, the harder you try, the worse it gets.
So, what was willpower designed for?
Willpower works well at helping us persevere if we are trying to accomplish a task. As long as the thing we want to accomplish is in our conscious working memory, willpower helps us focus on the rewards and sees us through the hard work. So, willpower works great to help us proactively achieve our goals.
What about eliminating bad habits?
The problem is, if we are trying to eliminate a bad habit, the last thing we need is that particular habit at the forefront of our brain.
When we are trying to use our willpower to get rid of bad habits, that bad habit is on our mind constantly. If it isn't at the forefront of our mind, willpower doesn't work. Placing the habit in your working memory incorporates it into your up-coming decisions. That is fine if all you are doing all day is avoiding the bad habit, but that's not reality. Throughout the day, we are constantly coming upon new decisions to make. Consciously trying not to do something will usually increase the behavior rather than decrease it.
The second problem is that the brain functions involving willpower are just too slow.
Our working memory is extremely busy and easily overwhelmed. This slow, multi-step brain function is usually no match for the quick, efficient function of acting out on a habit stored in our basal ganglia. The end result is that we act out on the bad habit before we remember not to.
Conclusion
If you have tried and tried to eliminate a bad habit using your willpower and have failed repeatedly, don't be too hard on yourself. Willpower was never designed for that function. If we approach the bad habit from a different angle, we have a much better chance of success. The key is to work with your physiology not against it?
What about You?
Have you been really frustrated with yourself because you can't overcome bad habits using willpower? Have you wondered if you had any willpower at all?
**If you read my blog last week, you were probably expecting some tips this week for eliminating bad habits. Sorry about that. I received such a large response from my first post on habits, I thought I would expand on the subject a bit further. I promise that I will provide you with some tips in Part 3 and possiby 4 of Breaking Bad Habits.**
This post was based on a seminar sponsored by the Institute of Brain Potential called How the Brain Forms New Habits: Why Willpower is Not Enough: More information can be found at https://www.ibpceu.com/pdf/custom/HABNHMEMARIF11-4.pdf
Let's start this post with a little test of your willpower. For the next 30 seconds, no matter what you do, don't think about an ELEPHANT. Okay start...
Why are you thinking about an elephant when I told you not to? It is only 30 seconds. Couldn't you go just 30 seconds? Since you did opposite of what I told you to do, does that mean that you have a weak willpower? Not really. It was not a fair test of true willpower.
When I told you not to think about an elephant, the first thing you did was picture an elephant in your conscious working brain. No matter how hard you try not to think about the elephant, you keep thinking about it. Actually, the harder you try, the worse it gets.
So, what was willpower designed for?
Willpower works well at helping us persevere if we are trying to accomplish a task. As long as the thing we want to accomplish is in our conscious working memory, willpower helps us focus on the rewards and sees us through the hard work. So, willpower works great to help us proactively achieve our goals.
What about eliminating bad habits?
The problem is, if we are trying to eliminate a bad habit, the last thing we need is that particular habit at the forefront of our brain.
When we are trying to use our willpower to get rid of bad habits, that bad habit is on our mind constantly. If it isn't at the forefront of our mind, willpower doesn't work. Placing the habit in your working memory incorporates it into your up-coming decisions. That is fine if all you are doing all day is avoiding the bad habit, but that's not reality. Throughout the day, we are constantly coming upon new decisions to make. Consciously trying not to do something will usually increase the behavior rather than decrease it.
The second problem is that the brain functions involving willpower are just too slow.
Our working memory is extremely busy and easily overwhelmed. This slow, multi-step brain function is usually no match for the quick, efficient function of acting out on a habit stored in our basal ganglia. The end result is that we act out on the bad habit before we remember not to.
Conclusion
If you have tried and tried to eliminate a bad habit using your willpower and have failed repeatedly, don't be too hard on yourself. Willpower was never designed for that function. If we approach the bad habit from a different angle, we have a much better chance of success. The key is to work with your physiology not against it?
What about You?
Have you been really frustrated with yourself because you can't overcome bad habits using willpower? Have you wondered if you had any willpower at all?
**If you read my blog last week, you were probably expecting some tips this week for eliminating bad habits. Sorry about that. I received such a large response from my first post on habits, I thought I would expand on the subject a bit further. I promise that I will provide you with some tips in Part 3 and possiby 4 of Breaking Bad Habits.**
This post was based on a seminar sponsored by the Institute of Brain Potential called How the Brain Forms New Habits: Why Willpower is Not Enough: More information can be found at https://www.ibpceu.com/pdf/custom/HABNHMEMARIF11-4.pdf
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Breaking Bad Habits (Part 1): Why do we Fail
This past January, as I often do, I set a New Year's resolution to eat healthier and begin exercising. By mid-February, I panicked realizing that I still hadn't changed anything. I got my butt into gear and finally began my program. I worked hard, focused, lost some weight and felt great. I remember thinking to myself, "Why didn't I do this a long time ago. I haven't felt this good in years."
After about 5 or 6 weeks, my plan derailed and I completely went back to my old, unhealthy lifestyle. Man, that is so frustrating. And the worst of it is, this same thing has happened EVERY DARN YEAR for the last 4 years. Even though I felt better and looked better, I went backwards and settled into my old lifestyle.
So, WHY do we fail at eliminating our bad habits?
Earlier this month, my brother Lee and I went to a one day conference put on by the Institute of Brain Potential called How the Brain Forms New Habits: Why Willpower is Not Enough. It was a very informative and interesting seminar. The following are the main points that I learned from the seminar.
Once a Habit is Formed, It is Permanently Stored in Your Brain
There is a tiny little structure right in the middle of your brain called the Basal Ganglia that stores any habits that you have learned FOREVER. If you developed a habit of smoking cigarettes, for example, the habit of smoking is stuck in your brain for the rest of your life.
Before you go beating up on the Basal Ganglia, please note that it does serve a very important purpose. If you learn how to do something useful, in your career or any other area of your life, your brain remembers how to do it for the rest of your life. Even if you have not tried it for years, you can always pick that function up again fairly easily. Two great examples of this are snow-skiing and bike riding. Once you know how to do them, your body always knows how to do them.
Interestingly enough, this tiny brain structure is located at the very core of your brain. Obviously God didn't want it to be easily disrupted.
Because of the Basal Ganglia, overcoming bad habits is almost always a life-long endeavor.
If we don't act out on a bad habit for a long time, what makes us go back to it?
According to the presentation by the Institute for Brain Potential, there are two main causes for Bad Habit Relapse.
TOO MUCH STRESS
When we are over-stressed, we often resort back to our bad habits because they give us some
temporary relief from the Stress.
BOREDOM
The presenter first referred to this as Reward Deficiency, but then admitted that what it really is is boredom. When we are bored, the amount of dopamine floating around in our brain is low. Our bad habits give us a little jolt of dopamine, which brings us out of boredom.
Conclusion
So there you have it. I hope you gain a little more insight into why bad habits are so hard to overcome. As I finish writing this article, it is 11:30 PM and my stomach is stuffed to the max from the Chinese Buffet we ate at tonight. Obviously, knowledge about bad habits alone does not eliminate them....
In Part 2, we will discuss some practical tips for overcoming bad habits.
What about you?
Do you have trouble overcoming bad habits? Are they always there to pester you when you are stressed out or bored?
Information about the seminar I mentioned can be found at: https://www.ibpceu.com/pdf/custom/HABNHMEMARIF11-4.pdf
After about 5 or 6 weeks, my plan derailed and I completely went back to my old, unhealthy lifestyle. Man, that is so frustrating. And the worst of it is, this same thing has happened EVERY DARN YEAR for the last 4 years. Even though I felt better and looked better, I went backwards and settled into my old lifestyle.
So, WHY do we fail at eliminating our bad habits?
Earlier this month, my brother Lee and I went to a one day conference put on by the Institute of Brain Potential called How the Brain Forms New Habits: Why Willpower is Not Enough. It was a very informative and interesting seminar. The following are the main points that I learned from the seminar.
Once a Habit is Formed, It is Permanently Stored in Your Brain
There is a tiny little structure right in the middle of your brain called the Basal Ganglia that stores any habits that you have learned FOREVER. If you developed a habit of smoking cigarettes, for example, the habit of smoking is stuck in your brain for the rest of your life.
Before you go beating up on the Basal Ganglia, please note that it does serve a very important purpose. If you learn how to do something useful, in your career or any other area of your life, your brain remembers how to do it for the rest of your life. Even if you have not tried it for years, you can always pick that function up again fairly easily. Two great examples of this are snow-skiing and bike riding. Once you know how to do them, your body always knows how to do them.
Interestingly enough, this tiny brain structure is located at the very core of your brain. Obviously God didn't want it to be easily disrupted.
Because of the Basal Ganglia, overcoming bad habits is almost always a life-long endeavor.
If we don't act out on a bad habit for a long time, what makes us go back to it?
According to the presentation by the Institute for Brain Potential, there are two main causes for Bad Habit Relapse.
TOO MUCH STRESS
When we are over-stressed, we often resort back to our bad habits because they give us some
temporary relief from the Stress.
BOREDOM
The presenter first referred to this as Reward Deficiency, but then admitted that what it really is is boredom. When we are bored, the amount of dopamine floating around in our brain is low. Our bad habits give us a little jolt of dopamine, which brings us out of boredom.
Conclusion
So there you have it. I hope you gain a little more insight into why bad habits are so hard to overcome. As I finish writing this article, it is 11:30 PM and my stomach is stuffed to the max from the Chinese Buffet we ate at tonight. Obviously, knowledge about bad habits alone does not eliminate them....
In Part 2, we will discuss some practical tips for overcoming bad habits.
What about you?
Do you have trouble overcoming bad habits? Are they always there to pester you when you are stressed out or bored?
Information about the seminar I mentioned can be found at: https://www.ibpceu.com/pdf/custom/HABNHMEMARIF11-4.pdf
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