And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6 (NLT)
As a recovering perfectionist, the thought of failing at anything in life makes my skin crawl. Failure has always horrified me. I want to succeed. I want to win. I want to be PERFECT.
While growing up, I often thought that being a perfectionist was a positive character trait. I thought that having this trait meant that you were driven and were not going to allow failure in any area of your life.
There is one little issue, however, in expecting perfection. We are HUMANS. Humans are not perfect and WILL Fail. As my drive for perfection increased, my peace of mind decreased. Every time I would fail, I would throw up my arms and give up. My thought was, if this plan led to failure, then obviously the whole plan is worthless.
This cycle of making a plan, failing, completely changing plans, failing again, and then finally giving up has shown up in nearly every area of my life. A great example of this was dealing with weight loss. I would come up with a great plan of how I was going to eat healthy and exercise. I would run this plan through my mind over and over again tweeking every little detail until the plan was perfect. I would then start the plan, have a small failure during the first couple of days, and then give up in disgust. At the first failure, I would decide that the plan was doomed and give up on the entire thing.
As I look back, the flaws in my thinking were obvious. Who am I to think I can do something perfect? Do I think I am God? Nobody ever does anything well, let alone perfect, the first time. Highly successful people know that failure is part of life and actually use it to gain even more success.
Finding this acceptance of imperfection has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. It is actually one of the biggest reasons why I had the guts to start this blog. I know that I have a long ways to go to become a good writer. I have so much to learn and know that I will FAIL a number of times as I work on it. I also know, however, that if I keep working at it and learn from my mistakes, I will get better.
This is how I found The Freedom to Fail :
1) Accept that I am a HUMAN BEING and that all human beings FAIL sometimes.
2) Realize that Failing is actually one of the most effective ways that God teaches us.
3) Understand that Jesus was the only person who ever lived a perfect life.
4) Accept that if I am trying to be PERFECT, then I am trying to play GOD.
5) Believe that if I have a relationship with HIM, then I am perfect in GOD'S EYES, despite my
failures.
6) Believe that if I am already perfect in God's eyes, I have the FREEDOM TO FAIL in this life.
Failing is just part of the human experience. If we never fail, then we never learn. If we never learn then we never succeed.
What About You? Do you expect perfection out of yourself? Would accepting your Freedom to Fail help you relax and try new, challenging or scary things in your life?
Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label freedom. Show all posts
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Follow Jesus, Not his Followers
Follow Jesus himself, because if you follow his followers too closely, you may be led astray.
The College Years (18-early 20s) are a very challenging and important part of developing into Adulthood. When I first packed up and headed off to Wayne State College in the Fall of 1999, I was full of excitement and fear.
I knew no one at the College and am an introvert by nature, so the idea of being in a brand new place, where I would need to make brand new friends, was pretty scary. Nevertheless, at the time, I felt very strong in my faith. I had had an important year of spiritual growth in my senior year of high school and was very excited to continue that growth as I started college.
I was convinced that I wanted to find a Bible Study at the Campus where I could find other believers who were as passionate about growing in Christian Faith as I was. I found a group that met once a week in a room next to the cafeteria on campus.
What I ended up finding was a very legalistic, fundamental Christian group that taught that their strict beliefs were TRUTH and all of the other Christians were wrong. As I attended the group week after week, my heart began to be filled with Fear, Confusion, Anger and Resentment. I hated going to the group so much, but I was scared not to go. They believed that we needed to quit celebrating Christmas with Christmas trees, and begin preaching on the corner of campuses. "Me, preaching?", I thought. That just isn't me. But, they tell me that I need to.
After about 10 weeks, I finally had had enough, and said forget it. I never went back to the group after that. I also decided to quit pursuing my faith. I had stuck my neck out searching for God, and been burned. I decided from then on out I was going to go through the motions, but that was it. I totally associated THAT group with God himself, and decided that if that is God, then I don't want anything to do with him on a personal level.
This turning away from God led me into a dark 8 year period of addiction, anxiety, depression, rage, and spiritual bankruptcy.
When I finally came to an end of myself and surrendered again to Jesus, I had a resentment that I needed to deal with. I sat down with a dear friend and said "Why did God lead me astray back then? I was passionate about growing closer to him, but I ended up with confusion, anger and resentment. How could he do that to me?"
My friend looked over at me and said, "Just because you were led astray by a Christian Group does not mean that you were led astray by God himself. He was there for you the entire time: Walking you through your pain."
I sorta understood what he was saying and it helped a little bit, but I still resented God for allowing that to happen to me. I also remained very weary about pursuing a close relationship with God again.
About 2 years later, I heard something on the radio that gave me the healing that I needed. Follow Jesus, Not his Followers because his followers are not perfect and they get it wrong sometimes.
From this I have been able to again pursue Jesus, but this time, I am pursuing him on a personal level. YES, I need to be in fellowship with others, but if I don't agree with a particular group or person, that's alright. And if I try out a particular Christian Fellowship and I don't agree with a lot of what they teach, I can just choose another one.
The fact of the matter is: The Bible is complicated and difficult to understand. I believe there are a lot of things about the Christian Faith that we were never meant to understand right now. I do know, however, that if I pursue Jesus personally, setting aside all OPINIONS ABOUT him, then I will never be led astray.
The College Years (18-early 20s) are a very challenging and important part of developing into Adulthood. When I first packed up and headed off to Wayne State College in the Fall of 1999, I was full of excitement and fear.
I knew no one at the College and am an introvert by nature, so the idea of being in a brand new place, where I would need to make brand new friends, was pretty scary. Nevertheless, at the time, I felt very strong in my faith. I had had an important year of spiritual growth in my senior year of high school and was very excited to continue that growth as I started college.
I was convinced that I wanted to find a Bible Study at the Campus where I could find other believers who were as passionate about growing in Christian Faith as I was. I found a group that met once a week in a room next to the cafeteria on campus.
What I ended up finding was a very legalistic, fundamental Christian group that taught that their strict beliefs were TRUTH and all of the other Christians were wrong. As I attended the group week after week, my heart began to be filled with Fear, Confusion, Anger and Resentment. I hated going to the group so much, but I was scared not to go. They believed that we needed to quit celebrating Christmas with Christmas trees, and begin preaching on the corner of campuses. "Me, preaching?", I thought. That just isn't me. But, they tell me that I need to.
After about 10 weeks, I finally had had enough, and said forget it. I never went back to the group after that. I also decided to quit pursuing my faith. I had stuck my neck out searching for God, and been burned. I decided from then on out I was going to go through the motions, but that was it. I totally associated THAT group with God himself, and decided that if that is God, then I don't want anything to do with him on a personal level.
This turning away from God led me into a dark 8 year period of addiction, anxiety, depression, rage, and spiritual bankruptcy.
When I finally came to an end of myself and surrendered again to Jesus, I had a resentment that I needed to deal with. I sat down with a dear friend and said "Why did God lead me astray back then? I was passionate about growing closer to him, but I ended up with confusion, anger and resentment. How could he do that to me?"
My friend looked over at me and said, "Just because you were led astray by a Christian Group does not mean that you were led astray by God himself. He was there for you the entire time: Walking you through your pain."
I sorta understood what he was saying and it helped a little bit, but I still resented God for allowing that to happen to me. I also remained very weary about pursuing a close relationship with God again.
About 2 years later, I heard something on the radio that gave me the healing that I needed. Follow Jesus, Not his Followers because his followers are not perfect and they get it wrong sometimes.
From this I have been able to again pursue Jesus, but this time, I am pursuing him on a personal level. YES, I need to be in fellowship with others, but if I don't agree with a particular group or person, that's alright. And if I try out a particular Christian Fellowship and I don't agree with a lot of what they teach, I can just choose another one.
The fact of the matter is: The Bible is complicated and difficult to understand. I believe there are a lot of things about the Christian Faith that we were never meant to understand right now. I do know, however, that if I pursue Jesus personally, setting aside all OPINIONS ABOUT him, then I will never be led astray.
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