As You See Me

If only my view of myself on the inside was as clear as it is on the outside as I glance into a bathroom mirror.

When I look at the internal mirror of my heart, it is as if steam fills the bathroom from a hot bath.  The steam gathers as fog on the mirror.  I end up with a blurry view of myself

Often times, I see myself with such contempt.  I look at my failures, my weaknesses and my shortcomings.  I also compare myself to other people and seem to never measure up.  I see the success and confident appearances of others and cannot hardly even look them in the eye.  How can I, with all of my fears, even look at a confident man in the eye. 

At other times, I see myself with such arrogance.  I see myself as the center of the universe and so much more important than my fellow man.  I succeed at something and think that I am the most powerful man on the planet. I look at other people with judgement and pride.  I feel bad for my fellow man because he does this and that.  I look at the speck in my neighbor's eye forgetting the plank in my own.

My prayer to God is:

LET ME SEE ME AS YOU SEE ME.  When you look at me, you see so much potential.  You know who I can be if I stay close to you.  You see my weaknesses, but you see that they can be overcome.  You see my fears, but know that they are no match for your strength.  You love me so dearly, but no more or less than others.  You see me beat myself up sometimes and see right through my inferiority complex.  You can also see through my pride and arrogance and know that they are just a means to hide my fears. 


Lord,  wipe away the fog from my heart and give me your eyes so I can see me for who I am made to be and who I can become.  If I can really see me through your eyes, then I can be used for your purposes instead of wandering around aimlessly in the confusion of my fog.

The Light Behind

As I pulled  up in my driveway today after work, the Sun had set and a darkness was overcoming the land.  I climbed out of my car and glanced up, which I do nearly every day this time of year.  Up in the sky was a spectacular landscape of bright stars shining down.  The stars are one of the things I like most about being back out in the country.

A few hours later, after the kids were in bed, I took the garbage out as we finished up the dishes.  As I opened up the trashcan, which was nestled up next to our garage, I decided to look up again and see one last view of the beautiful stars.  As I looked up, our bright porch light blinded my eyes.  No stars could be seen through that bright, piercing porch light.   I knew the stars were out there, but I absolutely could not pick them out.  I then looked back away from the bright light and again was blessed with the beautiful stars.

How many times, when staring at the problems in my life, do I feel like God is not there.  As I keep my eyes focused on my problems, I cannot see God at work.  Even though he is there transcending my problems, my eyes cannot see him because I am too focused on my problems.  When I look away from the problems and focus on God, I can then again see his Light and gain strength to deal with my problems.

There is no doubt that taking our eyes off of our problems and acting like they are not there is not going to solve them.  This is stepping into denial which gets us nowhere.

 Instead, this situation challenged me to look away from the problems from time to time and look straight at God forgetting everything else.  When I do this, I gain the strength needed to look again at my problems and find the solutions to them.