If only my view of myself on the inside was as clear as it is on the outside as I glance into a bathroom mirror.
When I look at the internal mirror of my heart, it is as if steam fills the bathroom from a hot bath. The steam gathers as fog on the mirror. I end up with a blurry view of myself
Often times, I see myself with such contempt. I look at my failures, my weaknesses and my shortcomings. I also compare myself to other people and seem to never measure up. I see the success and confident appearances of others and cannot hardly even look them in the eye. How can I, with all of my fears, even look at a confident man in the eye.
At other times, I see myself with such arrogance. I see myself as the center of the universe and so much more important than my fellow man. I succeed at something and think that I am the most powerful man on the planet. I look at other people with judgement and pride. I feel bad for my fellow man because he does this and that. I look at the speck in my neighbor's eye forgetting the plank in my own.
My prayer to God is:
LET ME SEE ME AS YOU SEE ME. When you look at me, you see so much potential. You know who I can be if I stay close to you. You see my weaknesses, but you see that they can be overcome. You see my fears, but know that they are no match for your strength. You love me so dearly, but no more or less than others. You see me beat myself up sometimes and see right through my inferiority complex. You can also see through my pride and arrogance and know that they are just a means to hide my fears.
Lord, wipe away the fog from my heart and give me your eyes so I can see me for who I am made to be and who I can become. If I can really see me through your eyes, then I can be used for your purposes instead of wandering around aimlessly in the confusion of my fog.