Slowly but surely, she pushed her new wheelbarrow down the sidewalk. In the wheelbarrow, a purple shovel with a pink handle bounced around, forcing Addy to balance the wheelbarrow as she pushed along. The shovel was a gift from her mom so she could help dad 'work' outside.
"Daddy, Let's go find some rocks", she said as she came close.
"Honey, Dad is busy", I mumbled, as I gave her a quick glance trying not to lose my concentration on the flat wheelbarrow tire I was trying to remove.
"Please, daddy", she pleaded.
With a frustrating sigh, I looked over at her and said: "Alright, but just for a few minutes."
An hour later, we finally strolled back up the sidewalk to the house with a load of rocks to proudly present to mommy and big brother.
I had no idea that the few minutes that I had promised Addy had turned into an hour. She had worked hard digging and prodding with her colorful shovel. I helped with the ones that were too tough for her. We talked, laughed and enjoyed our time together. I will probably never forget that evening.
We really have no idea how many of those moments we will have with our loved ones. Moments when we are alone, the world is quiet around us, and we can just be together.
With all of the distractions and responsibilities in my life, I rarely focus on the moment and be fully present with the people around me, forgetting all else, and taking in the moment. Like I mentioned, it rarely happens, but it does sometimes, which I see as a major blessing in my life.
What About You?
Could you set all of your worries and concerns aside, every once in a while, and focus on the time you have with a loved one? Would your life and your close relationships be enriched if you would allow yourself to do this?
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
With Open Hands
Have you ever tried to grab water? No, not a bottle of water or a glass of water, but have you ever tried to grab water? If you grab water, the tighter you squeeze it, the less you end up with. If you want to hold water, you have to hold it WITH OPEN HANDS.
I often find myself trying to grab God's blessings. When God blesses me with peace, joy or any other blessing, I grab it with all my might, pull it close to my chest and try to make sure that it does not leave me. He hands it over to me and I try to devour it and control it. As I pull it closer and closer and clench it tighter and tighter, the blessing disappears out the creases of my hands. Basically, I smother God's blessings.
As I was contemplating this principle, I thought of one exception. I want to love, adore and hold my kids as close as I can. They are a blessing from God, but they need someone to hold them tight. Really, though, if I keep holding them so tight as they grow older and do not begin to let go, they are going to rebel. At some point, I will need to open up my hands and let them go.
So, I find myself with this deep desire to grasp something. I have a craving inside to grab ahold of something will all my might, but if I grab onto anything too tightly, it acts like water and disappears.
This puts me in quite a predicament.
What I have found is that it is no accident that I have this deep desire inside to grab onto something. If I grab onto God with all my might and squeeze him close to my chest, he only increases in my life. The tighter I squeeze and the closer I pull, the more he reveals himself to me.
Therefore, my suggestion is: Grab GOD (not religion, not Church) but GOD himself with all of your might and hold all of his blessings WITH OPEN HANDS.
I often find myself trying to grab God's blessings. When God blesses me with peace, joy or any other blessing, I grab it with all my might, pull it close to my chest and try to make sure that it does not leave me. He hands it over to me and I try to devour it and control it. As I pull it closer and closer and clench it tighter and tighter, the blessing disappears out the creases of my hands. Basically, I smother God's blessings.
As I was contemplating this principle, I thought of one exception. I want to love, adore and hold my kids as close as I can. They are a blessing from God, but they need someone to hold them tight. Really, though, if I keep holding them so tight as they grow older and do not begin to let go, they are going to rebel. At some point, I will need to open up my hands and let them go.
So, I find myself with this deep desire to grasp something. I have a craving inside to grab ahold of something will all my might, but if I grab onto anything too tightly, it acts like water and disappears.
This puts me in quite a predicament.
What I have found is that it is no accident that I have this deep desire inside to grab onto something. If I grab onto God with all my might and squeeze him close to my chest, he only increases in my life. The tighter I squeeze and the closer I pull, the more he reveals himself to me.
Therefore, my suggestion is: Grab GOD (not religion, not Church) but GOD himself with all of your might and hold all of his blessings WITH OPEN HANDS.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Follow Jesus, Not his Followers
Follow Jesus himself, because if you follow his followers too closely, you may be led astray.
The College Years (18-early 20s) are a very challenging and important part of developing into Adulthood. When I first packed up and headed off to Wayne State College in the Fall of 1999, I was full of excitement and fear.
I knew no one at the College and am an introvert by nature, so the idea of being in a brand new place, where I would need to make brand new friends, was pretty scary. Nevertheless, at the time, I felt very strong in my faith. I had had an important year of spiritual growth in my senior year of high school and was very excited to continue that growth as I started college.
I was convinced that I wanted to find a Bible Study at the Campus where I could find other believers who were as passionate about growing in Christian Faith as I was. I found a group that met once a week in a room next to the cafeteria on campus.
What I ended up finding was a very legalistic, fundamental Christian group that taught that their strict beliefs were TRUTH and all of the other Christians were wrong. As I attended the group week after week, my heart began to be filled with Fear, Confusion, Anger and Resentment. I hated going to the group so much, but I was scared not to go. They believed that we needed to quit celebrating Christmas with Christmas trees, and begin preaching on the corner of campuses. "Me, preaching?", I thought. That just isn't me. But, they tell me that I need to.
After about 10 weeks, I finally had had enough, and said forget it. I never went back to the group after that. I also decided to quit pursuing my faith. I had stuck my neck out searching for God, and been burned. I decided from then on out I was going to go through the motions, but that was it. I totally associated THAT group with God himself, and decided that if that is God, then I don't want anything to do with him on a personal level.
This turning away from God led me into a dark 8 year period of addiction, anxiety, depression, rage, and spiritual bankruptcy.
When I finally came to an end of myself and surrendered again to Jesus, I had a resentment that I needed to deal with. I sat down with a dear friend and said "Why did God lead me astray back then? I was passionate about growing closer to him, but I ended up with confusion, anger and resentment. How could he do that to me?"
My friend looked over at me and said, "Just because you were led astray by a Christian Group does not mean that you were led astray by God himself. He was there for you the entire time: Walking you through your pain."
I sorta understood what he was saying and it helped a little bit, but I still resented God for allowing that to happen to me. I also remained very weary about pursuing a close relationship with God again.
About 2 years later, I heard something on the radio that gave me the healing that I needed. Follow Jesus, Not his Followers because his followers are not perfect and they get it wrong sometimes.
From this I have been able to again pursue Jesus, but this time, I am pursuing him on a personal level. YES, I need to be in fellowship with others, but if I don't agree with a particular group or person, that's alright. And if I try out a particular Christian Fellowship and I don't agree with a lot of what they teach, I can just choose another one.
The fact of the matter is: The Bible is complicated and difficult to understand. I believe there are a lot of things about the Christian Faith that we were never meant to understand right now. I do know, however, that if I pursue Jesus personally, setting aside all OPINIONS ABOUT him, then I will never be led astray.
The College Years (18-early 20s) are a very challenging and important part of developing into Adulthood. When I first packed up and headed off to Wayne State College in the Fall of 1999, I was full of excitement and fear.
I knew no one at the College and am an introvert by nature, so the idea of being in a brand new place, where I would need to make brand new friends, was pretty scary. Nevertheless, at the time, I felt very strong in my faith. I had had an important year of spiritual growth in my senior year of high school and was very excited to continue that growth as I started college.
I was convinced that I wanted to find a Bible Study at the Campus where I could find other believers who were as passionate about growing in Christian Faith as I was. I found a group that met once a week in a room next to the cafeteria on campus.
What I ended up finding was a very legalistic, fundamental Christian group that taught that their strict beliefs were TRUTH and all of the other Christians were wrong. As I attended the group week after week, my heart began to be filled with Fear, Confusion, Anger and Resentment. I hated going to the group so much, but I was scared not to go. They believed that we needed to quit celebrating Christmas with Christmas trees, and begin preaching on the corner of campuses. "Me, preaching?", I thought. That just isn't me. But, they tell me that I need to.
After about 10 weeks, I finally had had enough, and said forget it. I never went back to the group after that. I also decided to quit pursuing my faith. I had stuck my neck out searching for God, and been burned. I decided from then on out I was going to go through the motions, but that was it. I totally associated THAT group with God himself, and decided that if that is God, then I don't want anything to do with him on a personal level.
This turning away from God led me into a dark 8 year period of addiction, anxiety, depression, rage, and spiritual bankruptcy.
When I finally came to an end of myself and surrendered again to Jesus, I had a resentment that I needed to deal with. I sat down with a dear friend and said "Why did God lead me astray back then? I was passionate about growing closer to him, but I ended up with confusion, anger and resentment. How could he do that to me?"
My friend looked over at me and said, "Just because you were led astray by a Christian Group does not mean that you were led astray by God himself. He was there for you the entire time: Walking you through your pain."
I sorta understood what he was saying and it helped a little bit, but I still resented God for allowing that to happen to me. I also remained very weary about pursuing a close relationship with God again.
About 2 years later, I heard something on the radio that gave me the healing that I needed. Follow Jesus, Not his Followers because his followers are not perfect and they get it wrong sometimes.
From this I have been able to again pursue Jesus, but this time, I am pursuing him on a personal level. YES, I need to be in fellowship with others, but if I don't agree with a particular group or person, that's alright. And if I try out a particular Christian Fellowship and I don't agree with a lot of what they teach, I can just choose another one.
The fact of the matter is: The Bible is complicated and difficult to understand. I believe there are a lot of things about the Christian Faith that we were never meant to understand right now. I do know, however, that if I pursue Jesus personally, setting aside all OPINIONS ABOUT him, then I will never be led astray.
Monday, October 31, 2011
The Joy is in the Journey
What if you were offered a trip for two to Pike's Peak? You and your best friend get to fly to Colorado and visit this beautiful mountain. You have two options. Either you can:
1) Climb into an enclosed chairlift at the base of the mountain. The lift is enclosed by 4 walls with no windows. Inside, you find two recliners, a television, and headphones that plug into each chair. You can sit and watch television or recline your seat back and fall asleep as the chairlift climbs the mountain.
OR
2) Start at the base of the mountain with your friend, a map and all of your climbing gear. From the base, you slowly and steadily will climb up the mountain. You will ache, sweat, get a few cuts and probably cry. You may get into an argument here and there with your friend and you may take a couple of paths that are dead ends. When you reach the dead ends, you just stop, go back to the main path, and begin up again. Slowly, but surely, you will reach the top of the mountain.
Which route will you choose? In either case, when you reach the top and look over the peak, you are going to see a spectacular view that you likely will never forget. I firmly believe, however, that if you walked up the path, instead of rode the chairlift, the view is going to be more beautiful. Your relationship with your friend and and your belief in yourself will also be strengthened.
So many times in my life, I want to take the chairlift up. I want to ride up with ease and comfort and reach all of my destinations with little effort on my part. I want to be an excellent speaker before I step up in front of the crowd. I want to be a spectacular author, before I start writing. I focus on getting my kids raised and seeing them walk across the graduation stage, before I even have them potty-trained.
The Joy really is in the Journey. If we focus entirely on the goals or destinations in our life, we will not appreciate them when we reach them. I have found that it is important for me to look ahead, plan and reach for my goals, but have also realized that it is just important for me to come back to the here and now and enjoy the life God has given me today.
1) Climb into an enclosed chairlift at the base of the mountain. The lift is enclosed by 4 walls with no windows. Inside, you find two recliners, a television, and headphones that plug into each chair. You can sit and watch television or recline your seat back and fall asleep as the chairlift climbs the mountain.
OR
2) Start at the base of the mountain with your friend, a map and all of your climbing gear. From the base, you slowly and steadily will climb up the mountain. You will ache, sweat, get a few cuts and probably cry. You may get into an argument here and there with your friend and you may take a couple of paths that are dead ends. When you reach the dead ends, you just stop, go back to the main path, and begin up again. Slowly, but surely, you will reach the top of the mountain.
Which route will you choose? In either case, when you reach the top and look over the peak, you are going to see a spectacular view that you likely will never forget. I firmly believe, however, that if you walked up the path, instead of rode the chairlift, the view is going to be more beautiful. Your relationship with your friend and and your belief in yourself will also be strengthened.
So many times in my life, I want to take the chairlift up. I want to ride up with ease and comfort and reach all of my destinations with little effort on my part. I want to be an excellent speaker before I step up in front of the crowd. I want to be a spectacular author, before I start writing. I focus on getting my kids raised and seeing them walk across the graduation stage, before I even have them potty-trained.
The Joy really is in the Journey. If we focus entirely on the goals or destinations in our life, we will not appreciate them when we reach them. I have found that it is important for me to look ahead, plan and reach for my goals, but have also realized that it is just important for me to come back to the here and now and enjoy the life God has given me today.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Love Is Blind
"Come now, let's settle this,", says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them white as wool." Isaiah 1:18 NLT
Love is Blind
We have all heard that phrase a thousand times. We know the guy who loves his girlfriend so much that he is absolutely blind to the fact that she treats him terrible. Or, we probably have heard the stories of the girl who stays with her husband after he cheats over and over again, because she always thinks this time it is going to be different.
We probably know the parents of a child that continues to make bad decisions The parents love their child so much that they keep bailing him/her out. In this case, the conscious mind refuses to see what the subconscious mind knows is really going on.
It really is true. Love can be blind. In our human experience, blind love often leads to ENABLING our loved ones and preventing them from taking responsibility for their mistakes. This BLIND LOVE actually turns out to be detrimental to the growth of the one that we love.
So, where did the idea of BLIND LOVE come from.
From God, of course
In the above verse, God is saying that though our lives are a complete mess and we hurt him all of the time, he sees us as white as snow if we accept his provision. God loves us so much that his LOVE IS BLIND to our sin. He sees us as white as wool, when our lives are stained by sin. How can this be? Is God an enabler? Does he turn his back to our sin so it prevents our spiritual growth?
A Loving but Righteous God (Not an Enabler)
God does love us so much that his Love can be Blind, but he is also a JUST GOD. Someone has to pay the price for our MISDEEDS. Through Jesus, God provided a WAY for him to see us as WHITE AS SNOW but to still have payment for our sins.
Therefore, if we accept the free gift of Jesus, and admit that we are broken people without him, then God sees us AS WHITE AS SNOW.
Thank you Lord for providing a way for me to be acceptable in your eyes.
Love is Blind
We have all heard that phrase a thousand times. We know the guy who loves his girlfriend so much that he is absolutely blind to the fact that she treats him terrible. Or, we probably have heard the stories of the girl who stays with her husband after he cheats over and over again, because she always thinks this time it is going to be different.
We probably know the parents of a child that continues to make bad decisions The parents love their child so much that they keep bailing him/her out. In this case, the conscious mind refuses to see what the subconscious mind knows is really going on.
It really is true. Love can be blind. In our human experience, blind love often leads to ENABLING our loved ones and preventing them from taking responsibility for their mistakes. This BLIND LOVE actually turns out to be detrimental to the growth of the one that we love.
So, where did the idea of BLIND LOVE come from.
From God, of course
In the above verse, God is saying that though our lives are a complete mess and we hurt him all of the time, he sees us as white as snow if we accept his provision. God loves us so much that his LOVE IS BLIND to our sin. He sees us as white as wool, when our lives are stained by sin. How can this be? Is God an enabler? Does he turn his back to our sin so it prevents our spiritual growth?
A Loving but Righteous God (Not an Enabler)
God does love us so much that his Love can be Blind, but he is also a JUST GOD. Someone has to pay the price for our MISDEEDS. Through Jesus, God provided a WAY for him to see us as WHITE AS SNOW but to still have payment for our sins.
Therefore, if we accept the free gift of Jesus, and admit that we are broken people without him, then God sees us AS WHITE AS SNOW.
Thank you Lord for providing a way for me to be acceptable in your eyes.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Am I a COURAGEOUS Father
This past weekend, we went to the new movie, Courageous. It was a great movie that I highly recommend everyone see. It was very inspiring but very sad in some parts as well. So am I a courageous father? The short answer is no. But, there is GOOD NEWS. With awareness of where I am at, and with God's help, I am becoming a more COURAGEOUS father. Here are the challenges that I drew from the movie:
I am to LEAD my family
I believe that as a father, God has asked me to lead my family. This task seems very overwhelming at times, because I have enough trouble leading my own life. I simply do not have the strength to lead my family as I am supposed to on my own. I think the best way I can lead them, however, is by getting on my knees and asking God for the wisdom and strength to lead them as he wants me to. He promises to provide if I will just humble myself and do it and believe that he will provide.
They want ME more than WHAT I CAN GIVE them.
I have heard this said often, but really started to think about it more after the movie. Yes, my kids want things. We all want things. But, deep down, they want me to spend time with them way more than any material things that I can give them. And when I say they want ME there, I mean they want all of me. I can sit in the same room as them, but actually be a 100 other places in my mind. When I get a chance to spend time with my kids, I need to be there not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I need to shut my mind out to all other distractions and focus on our time together. It makes all the difference in the world. Related to this, I was challenged from the movie to spend time with them doing what they want to do, not just what I want to do. Yes, I would absolutely love to play football with Devan, but if he would rather play with his Toy Story characters, then so be it. Me taking interest in the things that interest my kids shows them that they are loved and appreciated for who they are.
Actions speak louder than words.
They are watching. I can tell them the right things to do all day long every day, but until I start walking my talk, then they are not going to pay attention. I need to focus on my actions and make sure that I am setting a good example for them in all that I do.
Be a Mentor
There are literally thousands of kids out there in our communities who do not have a father-figure present in their lives. If you do not have chidren, your children are grown or you just have some extra time, then invest in the lives of these kids. You will never know from this side of Heaven the difference you could make in their lives. There are so many opportunities out there including mentoring and coaching.
Discipline
For me this one can be difficult. Every kid is different and unfortunately there is not an Owner's Manual in the placenta when they are born. Also, as I look over my life, I have met many people who are not happy today because they were spoiled as children. On the other side of the coin, I have met just as many people in recovery meetings who have broken spirits because they were physically or verbally abused as children and that still affects them 20 years later. But, the GOOD NEWS again is that God will help me in this area if I just ask for direction and guidance and learn what he has to say about discipline in the Bible.
Like I mentioned earlier, this was a great movie and it really made me evaluate my fatherhood. I once heard it said that many, if not most, fathers would be willing to DIE for their children. The real question we each need to ask ourselves as Fathers is "Are we willing to live unselfishly and set a good example day in and day out for our kids"? If I really think about it, that might be tougher than the former.
I am to LEAD my family
I believe that as a father, God has asked me to lead my family. This task seems very overwhelming at times, because I have enough trouble leading my own life. I simply do not have the strength to lead my family as I am supposed to on my own. I think the best way I can lead them, however, is by getting on my knees and asking God for the wisdom and strength to lead them as he wants me to. He promises to provide if I will just humble myself and do it and believe that he will provide.
They want ME more than WHAT I CAN GIVE them.
I have heard this said often, but really started to think about it more after the movie. Yes, my kids want things. We all want things. But, deep down, they want me to spend time with them way more than any material things that I can give them. And when I say they want ME there, I mean they want all of me. I can sit in the same room as them, but actually be a 100 other places in my mind. When I get a chance to spend time with my kids, I need to be there not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I need to shut my mind out to all other distractions and focus on our time together. It makes all the difference in the world. Related to this, I was challenged from the movie to spend time with them doing what they want to do, not just what I want to do. Yes, I would absolutely love to play football with Devan, but if he would rather play with his Toy Story characters, then so be it. Me taking interest in the things that interest my kids shows them that they are loved and appreciated for who they are.
Actions speak louder than words.
They are watching. I can tell them the right things to do all day long every day, but until I start walking my talk, then they are not going to pay attention. I need to focus on my actions and make sure that I am setting a good example for them in all that I do.
Be a Mentor
There are literally thousands of kids out there in our communities who do not have a father-figure present in their lives. If you do not have chidren, your children are grown or you just have some extra time, then invest in the lives of these kids. You will never know from this side of Heaven the difference you could make in their lives. There are so many opportunities out there including mentoring and coaching.
Discipline
For me this one can be difficult. Every kid is different and unfortunately there is not an Owner's Manual in the placenta when they are born. Also, as I look over my life, I have met many people who are not happy today because they were spoiled as children. On the other side of the coin, I have met just as many people in recovery meetings who have broken spirits because they were physically or verbally abused as children and that still affects them 20 years later. But, the GOOD NEWS again is that God will help me in this area if I just ask for direction and guidance and learn what he has to say about discipline in the Bible.
Like I mentioned earlier, this was a great movie and it really made me evaluate my fatherhood. I once heard it said that many, if not most, fathers would be willing to DIE for their children. The real question we each need to ask ourselves as Fathers is "Are we willing to live unselfishly and set a good example day in and day out for our kids"? If I really think about it, that might be tougher than the former.
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